strength and love


now adays after the accident,
i felt that i am never myself..
i don't know why..
i think I've lost my spirit...

if i lose it,
then Mr.Spirits please come back to me..
i need you back...

without you....
i cried a lot..

after watching movies,
reading manga,
reading quotes,
as long as it's sad,
my tears will fall slowly...

after praying when i pray i become emotional..
i can't help it,
so....
i just let it fall slowly...
better out than in i think..

i need my spirits back..
i miss my knights and clan..
i wish they are here with me..
to be here with me...


when you are by my side,
you guys can ease my pain...
and,
you can make it disappears...



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alhamdulillah

 bersyukur aku padaMu, ya Allah

alhamdulillah
setelah pelbagai dugaan dan cabaran yang datang padaku...
akhirnya aku berjaya juga dipilih sebagai salah seorang peserta 
dalam pameran tahun akhir Rintis 2012....


walaupun bagi diriku,
projek ku amatla sederhana tetapi apabila dipilih aku berasa bersyukur yang amat..
alhamdulillah...

syukran ya Allah, syukran...

tidak sia-sia kau berikan aku dugaan dan cabaran...
kerana kini aku merasai manisnya kejayaan itu...
syukran ya Allah...

aku berdoa juga padaMu, ya Allah,
permudahkan urusan 8 lagi sahabatku...
biarla kami semua dapat bersama-sama dalam pameran ini...

ya Allah ya Tuhanku,
perkenankanla doa hambaMu ini...
amin....

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wise words

in time like this,
i appreciated this kind of wise words..
reading them makes me feel relieved...
it help me go through hardship...
The Real Wise Words

some of the wise words that help me hold on...
"it's not you fault.. don't blame yourself.."
"its just a car..."
"kete boleh baiki, nyawa hanya satu..."
"what will happen will happen, no matter what we do..."
"it a relieved that you are safe, everything else does not matter..."
"i am glad that you are okay..."
"don't blame yourself... i don't why should you?"
"i know it's painful, the burden that you carry are far heavier than others... but be stong.. just this once i ask you to be strong... forgive yourself..."
"this will make you tougher and stronger..."
"mak sayang anak-anak mak..."
"xpe janji kaklang selamat..."
"akak taknak kaklang nangis... akak x kesah pun pasal kete tu.. dah dah jangan nangis.."
"perkara yang wat kin sedih bukan tu. tp kitorg xdpt nk brada di sisi kaklang nk tolong. it must been hard to face it alone. weirdo is just a car in the end."
"try to think positives..."
"don't see the downfall of this, try to see the good things that happen because of this... 
then you will see a brand new things.."
"benda kat dunia ni jadi untuk mengajar kita.. kalau tak jadi kita x tahu.."
"takpela kereta tu nanti boleh uruskan.. janji kaklang x ape-ape.."
"nak mintak maaf buat ape, mende dah jadi. next time hati-hati... kereta bole repair, nyawa x bole.."
"if ALLAH dah kate kun fa ya kun kaklang..."
"tak luka tak cedera bersyukur sangat... masih mampu bergerak lagi.."
"sayang kaklang.."

and when i heard my mom crying on the phone..
i also automatically started to cried...
she said;
"ingat mak tak risau ke? nak tengok tak boleh...  anak jauh... abis mak nak buat camne? ni kaklang tak jadi ape-ape pun mak dah syukur sangat dah..."

i also thankful that no one scolded  me or get angry when i gave them the news..
all of them abah, ablong, kakngah and mak take the news calmly...
the speaked to me with soft voices...
i appreciated that so much...
in that state they know how afraid i am...
they speaks to me softly and that makes me calm...
that makes me less afraid because i know they will always be with me...

i really appreciated all the love i have been receiving...
all the pray that are for me...
all the love message and words of wisdom...

i sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart...

thank you..
thank you...
thank you...



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near death experiences 2

yesterday i post about my near death experienced..
which seem exaggerated,

but today...
my near death experiences is really my near death experienced..
i won't write it in details...
since it was painful for me to keep reminiscent all the bad memory...

today morning at 6.45am...
i got hit by a car...
of course i was driving weirdo...
and that car hit me hard...
and it took most of weirdo's mouth with it...
you can actually see weird's teeth!...

oil spilled,
lamps crush..
everything's a messed...

you can see skru, pilled of glass etc on the ground...
no it does not belong to the other car, which is a naza...
but mine...
weirdo got hit bad...
the other car damage also bad...
but mine is worse...

maybe that' why passer-by x marah-marah with me..
maybe because of weirdo condition..
but no one came to us..
no one consult tu..
i only have eaty and zaa...
everyone look at us and i know in their face,
I AM GUILTY...

after a while john and yun arrived...
i almost cry when they arrived....
they settle everything for us...
it's a relieved to have someone you can rely on..
since my parents and family are in KL...
and nothing they can do when they are so far away..

why i said  near death experience...
30cm more and that naza will directly hit me on the driver's seat...
it really really that close...
even John and eieen and eaty all of them said i was lucky...
because it can hit me...
and after seeing the impact on weirdo's mouth i know how bad if that naza hit me...
if it hit me...
i can't imagine what will happen to me and my friends...
the hit was bad...
it was like a meteor was smashed directly to your head...
it hurt my head and my neck..
other than that i think i am fine..
Alhamdulillah, Allah  masih  menyayangi diriku...

now all there is to do is 
email the insurance guy about kak ermma's document...
then the insurance claim can be done...

hopefully this is the last time i met with an accident..
it was a worse experience...
what with the two souls that i have in my car..
what if something happen to them..
i don't know what i will do...

i thanked ALLAH SWT..
because we all are safe!
now i just hope weirdo will revive and be well for kin to use for next semester...
i really really sorry kin...
i can't give back weirdo the way you borrowed them to me...
i really really sorry kak ermma...
i am sorry mak abah...
i'm sorry everyone...
because i can't change what have i done..
but i promised to be extra careful in the future..
i don't know when i will drive again..
it's not trauma..
but i am giving myself a punishment...
i have to be ready and prepare to start driving again...
hopefully i can...

Ya ALLAH ya tuhanku...
sesungguhnya aku tahu Kau amat menyayangi hambaMu ini...
justeru itu aku mengangkat kedua belah tanganku 
dan mengucap syukur kepadaMu...
terima kasih ya ALLAH SWT kerana masih memberiku kesempatan untuk bernafas...
terima kasih kerana tidak menarik nyaway ku dan teman-teman ku...
terima kasih kerana menjauhi kami daripada sebarang kecederaan...
syukran ya ALLAH SWT...
syukran....

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near Death experiences...

near death experiences...
a bit exaggerated right...
 i know...
but how else should i put it...

11/4/2012
berlaku gegaran sebanyak 8.7 skala richer...
can you imagine?
8.7!
it's like you are sitting on the ship and suddenly the waves hit your boat..
that's how i felt at 4.30pm in my school's building...
in 3rd floor...

i was doing my FYP...
cutting here,
cutting there...
chatting...
when suddenly my friends shout;
"eh gegarla!"
and we all went silence and then it hit all of us...
we are shaking...
the building are shaking..
you can see things moving...
things like your mouse, chair and boxes...
then one of my friends shout
"everybody out!"
and we rushed out to the ground floor...

and my friends Izzah called her dad...
and then when we received the news...
acheh, Tsunami...
apparently Acheh has received the shaking's number...
and they even saw the white line in the sea...
and the shaking is as high 8.7!
sampai ke Malaysia getaran tu terasa...

and all of us begin to rushed to the mosque...
to pray for all  of our lives..
as we all are in Penang...
the area that are close to Acheh,
the impact on us is also big...
the only things for us to do is

PRAY....
PRAY...
and keep on,
PRAYING....

we also begin to browse the internet...
logging to FACEBOOK and find news...
anything we can regarding our safety..
and i found this;

‎[RED ALERT MALAYSIA] Initial tsunami wave prediction arrival times: 



1. Georgetown - 09:11pm 11th April 2012 MY Time 


2. Port Dickson - 02:10am 12th April 2012 MY Time 


3. Singapore - 07:51am 12th April 2012 MY Time

it hit me right in the face...
georgetown
9.11pm
that's so close to USM...
i didn't panic...
but i am scared...
i'm nervous...
sad...
and i haven't see my parents in awhile..
it will be a sad things for me...
because
i would like to see them before i go...


kin called me...
she said,
"kaklang minta maaf... kin xdapat buat apa-apa.."
that's gives me tears...
there's nothing anyone can do...
so don't be sorry kin...


i am touched...
i pray that it didn't happen..
it just a warning...
nothing will happen...
insyaAllah...
we all pray...


people let out the best of them
in this kind of situation...
all of my friends, 
did not leaves anyone behind..
we stay together...


john called eaty and said to her;
"aku nak kitaorang semua berkumpul. aku taknak kite berpecah."
he also said
"aku tahu tempat tinggi. kita berkumpul kat sane."
john did some research and found a higher ground...
higher than the mosque...
it will be safer to be in a higher place...


after maghrib we all left to the bukit HBP...
the 2nd higher ground in USM...
and 
we wait...


as we wait,
i can't stop thinking...
how lucky i am..
to have this people...
to be with me through bitter and sweet...
how wonderful this people...
i am blessed...


nothing happen...


at 10.30pm,
john decided it's saves..
as the 
government gave statement that there are no tsunami and it is saves..
and we all went to out studio in our school...
as we still feel scared,
john decided it is best if all of us stay in one place...
and we did...


and today,
we still feel shaky...
but its hard to notices...
about 5.4 i think...
low but i hope it will end...


and we still here...
praying and staying together...
hoping it will pass...
insyaAllah...


kakngah went to singapore today...
i am afraid because its not really a  good time for her to go to singapore...
but mak and abah gave their permission...
i just send her with doa to ALLAH SWT,
that she will be saves...
pergi dengan selamat dan balik dengan selamat...
insyaAllah...


what ever happen to me...
i just want people to know,
that i am blessed...
with family and friends that love me...
and i love them so much...


i am praying for all the people...
semoga ALLAH SWT merahmati kita semua...
semoga ALLAH SWT menjauhi kita daripada sebarang malapetaka...
ya ALLAH Kau lindungila kami semua...
hanya padaMU kami memohon,
kerna Kau Tuhan Maha Berkuasa lagi Maha Penyayang...
berkatila kami...
amin amin ya rabbal alamin


p.s i am blessed as mak and abah didn't panic at all when i told the about the 8.7 skala richer..
and when i said
"mak if ape2 alang minta maaf ea..."
she just laugh...
and told me
"hahahah... yela... xde ape-ape tu..."
though i know they both are worried but they keep calm when talking to me..
abah  also advice me to go to higher ground..
to search for refuge...
i love them all!
the people in my lives!
how bless i am...
terima kasih ya ALLAH SWT...
kerna mengurniakan mereka kepadaku....
amin...

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jangan bersedih wahai hati...

sabarla wahai hati

andai dikau disakiti,
 sabarla wahai hati...

andai engkau terasa,
sabarla wahai hati...

andai dikau memiliki marah,
sabarla wahai hati...

andai engkau tidak berpuas hati,
sabarla wahai hati...

wahai  hati...
sekeras-keras hatimu,
terserlah kelembutan pada kelakuan mu...
hanya perkataan 'sabar' yang mampuku berikan...

terjadi sesuatu perkara padamu,
akan menitis air mata padaku..
sabarla wahai hati...

kerna segala yang berlaku adalah dugaan dari-Nya...
janganla dipertikaikan kenapa dan mengapa...
redhala pada ketentuan Illahi...
sabarla wahai hati...

wahai hati,
tidak diberikan kita dugaan jika tidak mampu kita menghadapinya...
kerna ALLAH SWT mengenali diri kita...
lebih dari kita mengenali diri sendiri...

dengan itu hati,
bersabarlah....


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Picnic in Feringhi

Picnic with Bestie!

it was a fun day for the four of us!!
me, eaty, zaa and eieen...
the original plan was,
eieen will come to eaty's dorm if and only if there's food prepare by me..
and then out of no where,
eaty said.
"eh ape kate kite gi picnic?"

and that's when all this nonsense become a reality..
at 10.30am me and eaty when to Tesco and bought things needed for the picnic...
air,ayam,mangkuk,sayuran...barang2 basah... to name a few...
and balik from TESCO super FLASH we started to cooked..
but eventually at 4.30pm we finished!

menu:
spaghetti prepare by me...
sandwiches prepare by eaty....
coleslaw prepare by zaa...

the spaghetti was what do i called it?
success?
i think success is a good way to describe it..
as i cooked it with not the usual ingredients..
i just let the ingredients be equally or slightly the same with the original one...
huhuhu...
luckily it taste good...
takut sangat keracunan makanan kawan2 alang...

and the sandwiches is delicious!~
the 1st to siap pun sandwiches gak..
thank you to eaty for the sandwich and jadi bendahari kitaorg..
you're the best!
tambahan cili for kak long eieen...
hihihi, and we pack a whole sack with pepper for eieen!!
hahahahah~

and the last one, which took us the longest time to prepare is
COLESLAW...
seriously...
nak potong cabbage and carrot to tiny pieces...
takes a lot and a lot of time!!
and patience...
tengok zaa buat and make a couple of them myself...
i can't stand them really...
huhuhu....
but it taste good!
good effort to zaa...

and we have a good good time!!
we arrived at the beach at 6.30...
late right?
but sokay..
the original plan was to eat at the beach pun..
so we eat and eat..
takes photo and eat some more..
and at 7pm  eaty said..
"wei korang jomla mandi.. dah pukul 7 dah ni!"
and we rushed to the beach and 
mandi!!

the beach at this time still terang..
luckily i said..
and at 7.30 we are done..
just to get the feel..
so 30 minutes is enough...
and we pack super duper flash!!
sebab eaty dengar monyet nak datang rompak makanan kiteorang...
eieen and eaty zup zup zup,
dah ader kat depan...
super duper flash!

got a glimpse of the monkey...
they are looking at us...
intensely...
macam nak makan/terkam kiteorang.....
we run run run...
fuh!
selamat..

and we mandi2 siap2 and then  ke masjid...
after solat,we go to Relau...
why you ask?
of course to Karaoke!!!
hahahah....
so we pick the 1 song = rm 1~
and after we sang song we decided to eat the leftover of our food...
and headed to Queensbay's  beach...

we open the picnic's food once again...
and, 
MAKAN!!!

we makan so banyak kali...
XDDD
but we are super duper happy..
yelah to create the last memories in this few months..
before we part kan...

so things that i cannot forget from this picnic is;
1-we solat at masjid terapung.. which the toilet is next to bilik mandi jenazah...
but the masjid  is really beautiful...
2- zaa dropped the coleslaw that took most of her times...
and when the Tupperware dropped she screams
"korang korang! nak buat ape ni? orang x thu nk buat ape!"
XDDD
3-eaty xnak tunaikan  permintaan alang nak tembikai smile sbb xthu nak potong...
and she said "x tunaikan pun satu memori tu" ^^
4-zaa tunaikan since she said to eaty
"bak sini,meh orang yang tunaikan permintaan koko"
terharu!~ ^^
5-lari super duper flash sbb nampak monyet..
6-menyanyi kat relau...
zaa melepaskan perasaan kat pusat karaoke...
7-practice panning+nightshot kat karaoke..
8-picnic kat queensbay beach...
9-picnic with my bestie!

thank you so much guys....
for this awesome memory!!

p.s i update the photos once i get them from eaty....


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Movies [Wrath of the Titans]

Wrath of the Titans
watched it with dear friends Wiwi...
and in 3D!!~
wohoo!!
2nd movies i watched in 3D~

super cool...
i forgot how it feels to watch in 3D..
but still don't favor them...
i only watch 3D because the normal one does not available..
the time i mean..
so nak x nak we have to..
there's nothing interesting except Wrath of the Titans at that time..

so we went in..
and was like...
wohoo!!
super cool...
but super pening...
i never understand why...
everytime i wear 3D spectacles, i get headache...
hmm...

anyway,
the movies was awesome!!~
or the CGI was super cool...
and since i watched it in 3D,
i get the feelings or 'realness'..
many times i thought a rock going to hit me...
hahahah...

but the downside is that,
the storyline is cliche...
so cliche that you already know half the story before it was told..
oh well,
what can you expect when  the movies are about god, half god and humans..
duh!~

wait!
i still think it is a good movies!~
worth to watch...
nice and very interesting..
its not slow though i don't very much like the ending...
i hate it...
why do they have to put romance?
it's like the whole story didn't happen...
tetibe je ader kissing scene..
aiyo...

but, 
all and all,
3*

i want to give 3.5* but i don't like some part of the story
and some actors don't portray their character very well..
though the CGI are good,
but it can be better~

spoke like a boss~
hahahah~


okay,
so far,

i haven't watch mirror mirror...
can't watch it in Queensbay, they only have it in Gurney..
hmm...
maybe i have to skip mirror2...
i don't drive to gurney..
its too far..

*what's next?

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new Chapter in her lives...

tahniah!~
to my dear friends,
eieen!~

dah selamat bertunang dah hari tu...
terharu sbb eieen akan memulakan bab baru dalam hidup de..
eieen, semoga sentiasa bahagia di samping orang tersayang...

majlis eieen,
unik sbb ader tol2....
eh majlis kawin kak ghan unik...
hihihi~ tertukar plak...

ader sistem tol...
 3 tol kalau x silap...
first time tgk,
sbb time ablong dorg x buat tol...
pastu ader telur asin, ganti telur ayam...
mmg favourite sy so sgt happy dpt telur asin ni!!
thank you to eieen and family!!

waktu nak gi majlis ni agak padat,
dari penang hari khamis malam...
smpai kl pagi jumaat..
malam jumaat pergi johor...
sampai johor kul  4 pagi sabtu...
then gi majlis eieen 10.30..
padahal majlis kul 9.55 pagi..
maaf kami tertido...

neway,
kami sempat tgk eieen gak...
cuma x sempat tgk sarung cincin...
T__T
ambik gambar sket... 
(tipo!!)
okay okay,
ambik gambar byk2~

pastu tunggu majlis kak ghan kul 1 lebih...
tahniah kak ghan!~
ader orang berarak datang n bunyi kompang...
cecepat kami kejar n tgk~


kak ghan n abg G tahniah!!
semoga dikurniakan anak2 yang comel dan solehah!~
after tu kul 2 petang kiteorg balik KL...
smapai dlm kul 8.30...
esoknyer kul 1.30 bertolak ke penang...

saat ni terase diri ni artis..
ader show di merata2 tempat...
bahagia nyer~
hihihih~

to eieen,
i wish you the very best in your lives!
may you are happy and bless by Allah SWT...

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i miss them...

i miss them...
i went back,
but the time i  have is hard to juggle..
since i went back to go to eieen's engagement and k'ghan's  wed,
i can't spend much time with them...

how i miss going out with them...
i really want to spend time with my family...
i didn't see ira, kin or abah...
since they are not home this week...

my time is pack because there are places to go..
and little time to spend...

i went back on thursday and arrived on friday morning,
 and on friday noon we went to johor..
arrived on saturday morning (4am)
and went back to KL on saturday. arrived at  8pm..
and went back to penang on sunday noon..
fuh!

macam artis dah gaya nye~ 

neway,
dear RC's 
i will be back...
don't worry my dear Clan...
i will be back...

when i don't know...

till then,
i hope you guys are well and happy!~

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