closed just make the thing worse...

now i know that...
it's hard you know...
you thought when you are closed with someone they understand...
apparently not..
the stories goes...
i don't know who to blame..
or who is wrong...
maybe its me but i don't think it's me..
but after deep thought and silent..
okay, the meat does not rotten...
but just the burger...

confuse?
you see i am a person that talks...
that means...
if i have something i don't like..
i like...
something that is wrong..
i will quick to criticize and quick to praise..
even the event is held by my friend...
criticize doesn't mean i hate it..
its something that helps them to improve right...
but that's why i said closed makes things worse...
because of my honesty, i make them shed tears...
argh...
me and my big mouth~
and worse, the place!!
why can't i be patient just for a night!!
why??
i am so non-patient...
and hate myself...
worse you know...
is that i found that *this person* consult with the other friends...
which is not mine.. and they keep looking back at me...
shess!!
if they hate what i said, can you atleast be a gentle and talks to my face?
please show respect...
atleast i do...
what i said are the truth..
its the truth because it's from me...
my opinion...
and i said it face to face...
not like you coward!~
but i don't blame them...
its me right...
its all because of me...
argh!!
how this night suppose to brings good memories!~
now all i have is bad ones!~
i hate myself....

i hope i understand...
or i hope they understand..
i don't mean harm...
it's just love...

eventhough *this person understand...
the mistakes already done...
half the people organize this things officially hates me~
*i don't know about hate...
but just to emphasize how talk-behind-my-back effects me...
i know they don't hate me...
but still, i hate myself...

for being uncool~~
yare yare..
to *this person if you suddenly bumps into this post...
i'm sorry...
i know i said it million times..
but not once i said it to your face..
it's not that i scared but i don't want you to feel guilty...
i don't wish to make you cry..
i don't wish to hurt you...
i just want to share my feelings..
because that's what friends do...
right??
we shared feeling..
the good and the bad...

but i think, maybe we should keep the feelings..
when it involving your friends..
and maybe we should never said bad things regarding the things that they do..
but,
but
but!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that's two face!!
and its wrong!!!

GOOD FRIEND,
tells the bad ones and the good!
accept the bad and not only the good!
good friend,
tells you something you don't want to hear~
tells you something you need to hear...
good friend,
don't mean you harm..
don't want to be your enemy...
we just tell because we don't want to lie...

please understand...
and it means the world to me...
if you respond to me in person..
i want to know what you keep inside...
what did i do wrong...
your feelings..
and how can i make it right..

and if you don't accidentally bump into this post..
don't worry...
i will accidentally bumps into you...
well,
i won't call it accident though...
hihihi~

that's all~
take care my good friends~