the hidden treasure lies everywhere~

12:12 PM | Labels:

everytime i encounter something,
my head will always ask the same question...
why me?
why this time?

but i forgot...

that ever-time it happen,
someone appear...
someone that helps me to encounter the problem...
help me to cross the road..
without getting hurt...

someone...
you are the light of my life...
you help me through ups and down..
you give me hope...
you give me light....
i keep on forgetting that i have you by my side...
i know how precious you are to me..
even when i forgot about you...
you always there....
standing close to me.....
watching over me...
so i won't hurt myself...
you give me your shoulder....
you give me your arm...
you give me your ear...
you give me your heart...
you give me your bless...

and i just keep on forgetting...
someone...
how i am sorry...
to let you feel that way...
i am sorry...
when you need me....
i always not there....
when you ask for me...
i have thousand of excuses..
i am sorry,
sorry for not be there,
when you actually want me there...

i know
promise is just a promise...
i don't want to make an empty promises....
so i rather pray...

i pray
Allah makes you happy,
when i can't....
Allah gives you someone better than me,
because you deserves one..
Allah to gives you better hope,
to provide you with light,
to guide you through ur journey....

but i also pray,
please oh please....
Ya Allah,
makes someone stay with me...
makes someone loves me forever...
makes me remember someone...
keep our heart together....
and let the boding stays eternally...

because this someone
is something i can't lose...

or

i lose my soul...
because they are apart of me...
they are me,
when i am them....
a bit of myself
are hidden inside them....
and every pieces of them,
i keep closely to my heart..

how i love them so much...
i fight the whole world for them...
i broke my promises for them...
i kill for them....
i die for them....
i do anything i can for them.....

everything for
my family~

where the loves stays and never goes away,
but if you didn't appreciate them now,
you suffer it one day,
when they finally gone...
eternally....

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Posted by AmiVieNeski

truth hurts like heLL!!

2:10 AM | Labels:


i know you know...
truth hurts..
but even when you experienced them thousand of times..
it still hurts like the 1st times..
thats why, here today now..
my heart still beating like mad~
how to start acting like you know nothing...
now you know everything...
i feel embarrassed!!
i feel used!!
i feel useless!!
suddenly i hate everything!!
watching is painful!!
hearing double the pain!!
understand triple it all...
and try to deal with the problem really does it all...
if only you can see me there...
i can get an award for best actor...
really brilliant!!
not even a loophole!
when i 1st hear the news..
i can't describe how my heart is acting...
its beating hard on the inside..
but outside,
i try so hard to stay cool and maintain my profile..
even my voice didn't change,
though my emotion have change slightly...
because
i was lying to others...
the hurt become more painful...
i try so hard to cover the emotion on my face..
even the words is changing...
i don't know if its convincing but its the best i can do..
i know i said this already...
but i think my heart still needs time....
i don't know when i will be 100% sure, cured and even satisfied with the action im taking..
but its the risk i have to take...
and live with the one i made...
i have to make a choice..
either this or that...
neither give hope...
nor luck...
its just and option...
by choosing,
i let myself control...
i need to control...
i need the control...
so i can be the boss..
to control my own feeling..
so it won't happen again...
too painful to keep...
too precious to let go...
the memories are one of the precious in my heart..
you are one of the nicest people i meet...
but,
now i know...
that i have to let you go...
i hope you are happy now as i choose to let you go...
don't ask me if this is the right thing to do...
don't ask me if i know what i am doing...
don't ask me if i will regret this...
because
i never know if this is right...
i never know what am i doing...
i never know if i will regret..
i never will.....

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Posted by AmiVieNeski

ups and down~

2:00 AM | Labels:

there's a couples of things that happen today...
1st the monster makes another attack on me...
making me cry...
well,
1st i didn't cry when i call my mum...
but i finally let it out when i was calling my sister..
somehow the burden is free when i hear her voice..
like i can be weak now..
just let it out...
it hurts!
that monster!!
really, i wish *&%^&^# or should i not~~~

thats not the 1st time...
why do i have to live in this kind of shit!!
i don't know...
maybe because i am weak people took advantage of me...
i really am upset!!
many things upset me these day..
many things...
and don't get me starts!

anyway,
mom said just ignore it..
dad said just chill and eat a lot!! spend a lot also can..
kakngah said, i find the solution..
really ar? or i just mishearing...
hhuhuh~~

but this point..
i am thankful that i have my family by my side..
always stood there watching over me..
ready to grab if i fall...
i know i haven't be the perfect one for you..
but trust me when i say,
i sacrifice the world for all of you....
that's how much i love you guys~

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Posted by AmiVieNeski

loves nurture the earth~~

2:18 AM | Labels:

people see IT coming...
people know IT coming...
people expect IT..
people welcome IT..
i know IT..
never expect IT to come..
not this fast, no...
but here it come...
and i fall right into IT..
without warning..
IT snapped right into my heart...
making me hard to breath...
hard to think..
hard to do anything...
and worse of all...
IT doesn't do anything to me..
IT really didn't...
IT just me and me...
and i know...
if i didn't do anything IT will go away...
i don't want IT to go away...
owh IT!!
please stay...
stay until i got the courage..
the timing...
the right moment to say it..
owh IT...
do you know...
what i fell??
no you must not..
its too embarrass to let IT see..
but do IT know how it hurt??
it hurt IT!!
it hurt so much!!
but i am thankful IT...
because of you i experienced it...
never know it before..

but if someone ask me...
"do you want to experienced it?"
i would say,
"no, i don't want..."
but IT...

can you see a liar when you see one??


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Posted by AmiVieNeski
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