truth hurts like heLL!!


i know you know...
truth hurts..
but even when you experienced them thousand of times..
it still hurts like the 1st times..
thats why, here today now..
my heart still beating like mad~
how to start acting like you know nothing...
now you know everything...
i feel embarrassed!!
i feel used!!
i feel useless!!
suddenly i hate everything!!
watching is painful!!
hearing double the pain!!
understand triple it all...
and try to deal with the problem really does it all...
if only you can see me there...
i can get an award for best actor...
really brilliant!!
not even a loophole!
when i 1st hear the news..
i can't describe how my heart is acting...
its beating hard on the inside..
but outside,
i try so hard to stay cool and maintain my profile..
even my voice didn't change,
though my emotion have change slightly...
because
i was lying to others...
the hurt become more painful...
i try so hard to cover the emotion on my face..
even the words is changing...
i don't know if its convincing but its the best i can do..
i know i said this already...
but i think my heart still needs time....
i don't know when i will be 100% sure, cured and even satisfied with the action im taking..
but its the risk i have to take...
and live with the one i made...
i have to make a choice..
either this or that...
neither give hope...
nor luck...
its just and option...
by choosing,
i let myself control...
i need to control...
i need the control...
so i can be the boss..
to control my own feeling..
so it won't happen again...
too painful to keep...
too precious to let go...
the memories are one of the precious in my heart..
you are one of the nicest people i meet...
but,
now i know...
that i have to let you go...
i hope you are happy now as i choose to let you go...
don't ask me if this is the right thing to do...
don't ask me if i know what i am doing...
don't ask me if i will regret this...
because
i never know if this is right...
i never know what am i doing...
i never know if i will regret..
i never will.....

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