Laughing and Crying

something didn't quite right..

this week has been fine...
i'm happy everyday except today...
i do not have 'happy' inside of me..
even to smile or to utter a smile from my lips is impossible..


it's like i'm moving or
talking,
and working,
without my mind or soul..
-empty-
leaving a machine to generate my body

i wakes up feeling grateful that i am alive,
but as the time pass by,
slowly my feeling get darker...
-depressed-

i can't speak,
can't smile,
can't laugh...
-i want to scream! and let all the pain out!-

when i smile,
i hurt my heart..
-i'm lying-
it's like i'm losing my strength...
i don't have any heart at work or at home..
to make it worse,
everything that happen around me today,
tickle my emo switch making me angry and depressed..
-hate them!-

cheer up...
hopefully by lunch time all is well...
i can't bear coming to work or going home in this kind of states..
it didn't just hurt me, 
but it hurts people around me..
-i am sorry-

sorry guys..
i try to control it...
-insyaAllah-

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you will be missed...

though you leave us,
your memories stay alive....
may you rest in peace.

we shared so many good times together,
me and you,
my family and you...
you brought laughter to us,
with your innocent looks and behaviors,
and we will 
Never Forget Them... 

your are Cherish and Love by everyone,
and
you Cherish and Love everyone back...
and it makes it harder 
to let you go...

life is way too short 
and we never know 
when it is time to go...

nobody saw it coming...
not me,
not twin,
not little sis
not baby sis,
not everyone...

the choice has been made...
though we pray it was the best,
and we did it for your sake,
but it was,
one of the hardest decision to make in our life...

Kattun,
you will surely be missed...
your stories will live
and your memories will stay...


p.s I miss you already...

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happiness


my little happiness

happiness lies in everyday task
example;
i find happiness when i saw my angel 
a.k.a 
Mrs. Mom 
mommy with twin

i am happy,
when i know my family is safe
imma also happy to be alive...

seeking happiness is hard
 if you can't see the true meaning of being happy

picture show one of my happiness~ hehehehe

people are often blind,
by the harsh reality,
that they forgot
the true meaning of happiness

me must learn to understand
what is happiness all about
to be truly happy

another one, just for the sake of it, hehehe

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Beautiful Creatures

movies review

went to watch Beautiful Creatures with Joe and Twin
on wednesday~

for the year 2013 
this is my 2nd movies..

the 1st one for this year is 
Lincoln by Steven Spielberg
got free ticket for this one..
baby sis got them from the university,
Lincoln University..
maybe because they share the same name,
they provided free tickets for the students..
she got 2 tickets,
another 2 from friends that didn't want to watch it..
so she asked us Knights to go and watch with her..

the movies itself is outstanding!
maybe because of the history and the story itself,
i got deeply immersed in it...
it was the 1st time for a documentary movies to attract me that much..
but this one is a winner...

the story kinda slow, 
and if you don't like history, 
and dislike long-dull-fact-conversation's dialogue,
then you won't like this movie...
it was full of people talking,
full of facts and slow..

but the action,
the camera angle,
and the way they take you into Lincoln's history,
is super nice..
it has continuation 
and you can understand them...
you know, 
like really understand the movie..
of course the actors should  been given some credits too..
for me the actor and actress portrays them self perfectly..
it was like they are meant to play that part..
especially Lincoln play by Daniel Day Lewis,
he was superb!
he was meant to play Abraham!
for me,
he was perfect!!

it was a little bit slow for me..
but the story line and facts-conversation was good,
therefor i give it
3.5 *

the next one is,
Beautiful Creatures

it was strange because my twin and i don't usually disagree
when it comes to movies...
there are a couples of movies that makes us disagrees 
with each other but 
not always...

this movie however is one of them..
i quite enjoy this movies,
and it was an 'OK' movie..
boleh layan macam tu...
got humour,
got action,
got magic,
got effects,
god sadness,
got happiness,

all in all,
'OK'

the movies came from a novel,
so it was not portrays to perfection,
meaning the movie was not details with its description...
i'm not going to read the novel,
even when they said never judge a book by its novel...
hehehehe,
but romance is not my cup of tea..
so i'm going to pass this one..

back to the movie,
the story is interesting,
though it was cliche,
you know,
super power-love-only he can saves you-secrets-sacrifices
but it was good..
not good  level  9000~
oh! 9gag, what have you done to me
but good enough that 
you don't fall asleep on the cinema...

i really admire the CGI on this movie,
it was nice and spot on..
sadly,
but not all of them...
some part i notice they don't put effects
when i think they should,
some i don't think they should,
but they do...
while the actors are good,
i think the female lead should give a little bit more...
she kinda stiff and feels weird to watch for certain part...

*spoiler alert
there are this part where three people meet in the library for the caster,
and the female lead - i can't remember her name 
found a book that supposedly only choose its reader,
and amma said
'i knew it'
this part makes me and my twin laughs..
you knew it!
of course the door will open by itself!
if you knew it why don't you show it at the 1st place?!
okay fine,
everything must be special for the girl!

or when they fight in the kitchen..
the fight itself looks dumb..
they only spins and cause tornado..
they have a very talented CGI's staff,
i think they should put more use of them for that part..
the fight looks dumb and feels dull..

and the female's lead should already show some anger
when the cousin take control on her boyfriend..
but instead she just let her cousin play with her boyfriend,
and after several jokes-eat-thingy 
barula de nak mengamuk..
"stay away from my boyfriend!"
then they begin to spin and spin the table..
that's what you called fight?

anyway,
i love the uncle-niece relationship...
the way her uncle loves her deeply,
moves me..
and it alse makes me feel the female's lead
is someone with a brain,
when she decide to let the boyfriend go..
at least she knows what is best for both of them...

oh another thing,
the dress for caster themes is super cute!
i really like them!

but like i said,
my twin hates it..
or rather dislikes,
yeah she don't really like it..
she said it's too cliche,
and too hyperbola..
the way the writer writes this book,
shows that she's only a beginner...
anything that happen in this movies must resolves around the lead's..
okay,
she must be the powerful one...
he must be the one..
her ancestor must be someone powerful..
there are no solutions for anything..
eventhough the family is powerful
they can't help her...
really over the top-teenager kinda-romance-witch-novels

they said if you loves twilight,
you are going to loves this movie!

but 
if you don't,
then 


everyone has opinions...
i have mine,
she has hers,
and 
you have yours.

it's what makes us human..
anyway,
i give this 
3*

can't wait for the next one~
cheers

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