The Devil Inside Me
Inside One : Failure is a Taboo
Failure is a Taboo
The one who supposed to supports her is me. Yet I failed at this task.
The one who supposed to supports her is me. Yet I failed at this task.
I don't know about other people out there, but for me failure is a taboo word.
Until the time I finally understood how the real world works,
I never failed.
I said never because I never really experiences the feelings of lost, alone, empty
or anger .
The emotion inside,
you don't know where it comes from, you just know it is big.
The moment you let it out, it will be the end.
To everything.
I know from the day I finish high school, that this is the real deal.
After this, there is no play only business.
So after I got my high school's examination result,
I buried the motto
'Business means business, playtime is over'
into my life.
I live my life following that motto and my life starts over.
You remember I said that I never failed right.
I mean what I meant.
Before I finish high school, I don't understand a single thing.
Before I finish high school, I don't understand a single thing.
Not life, not love nor the world.
At that time, life is suppose to be live.
That's all.
So I live just like a programmed computer, living a normal life.
It was fun and really interesting but doesn't have any meaning.
My life at that time is enoyable but they didn't leave any trace to anyone.
Not me especially.
No memories to be told nor happiness that I treasure.
It was as I said,
a life with no meaning.
Some people experienced the calling of their life at an early age.
An actor may have had the calling to become an actor
when they performs on stage in kindergarten,
when they performs on stage in kindergarten,
a singer may have the calling when they are singing with the carols at the church,
athletes may have the calling when they are chasing each other at the park,
there are multiple kind of true calling,
each one is different than the others.
Mine was when I received the result of my high school examination.
It didn't give a calling to be an actor, a singer or an athletes,
mine was on how to live my life.
At that point,
I promised to myself that this is it,
this is the turning point.
No more games only business.
That is the moment that I finally understood,
how live can be cruel,
Yet,
there is no stopping halfway because I promised myself.
I will walk in this Walk of Life.
No one to walk for me and no one to take my place.
There is only me.
This is my turning point,
This is my story,
This is my life.
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