Showing posts with label its have a reason~~. Show all posts
Showing posts with label its have a reason~~. Show all posts

Hurt but Hopeful

Though all of it was a scam.
A fake invitation.
A conned.
Whatever people called them,
for me it is a HOPE.

The last time I heard the word 'invitation'
is 4 months ago.
This, for me is Good News.

Hurt but Happy at the same time.
I carried a mix feeling throughout this process.

I google about the company,
and the result does not came up good.

Also I come across this forum
that just gives me the chill of how real this scam is.

It never occur to me, 
that someone would actually lie.
Lying about job advertisement.
The people who work hard, looking and searching,
preparing everything they can so they nail the job,
and these scammers took that opportunity to do what?
make money?
It just plain wrong.

It's not the work that is wrong,
it was you said.
How you never told them what did they really sign up for.

Personally, since I didn't attend the interview
I don't have any experience or fact about the company.
They can be legit for all I know,
 but since I already acquired alot of information about them,
my heart doesn't feel right.
I therefor decided to follow my heart and declined the interview.

People that are looking for a job,
be careful.
Be extra cautions and always do a background check.
This is an eyeopener for me.
I never expect this kind of things to exist actually.

Alhamdulillah.
There's a reason to everything.




  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

I am blessed

I am very disturbed by this news

It was so disturbing that I become so scared of my room.
Alone.
I can't walk or even bath alone.
Scared.
I feel so scared that I can feel my heart pumping up and down.
I can't even went out from my room to turn off the lights.
Darkness.
It was so disturbing that I can't even bring myself
to summarize the news.
Horrid

I even cry after I finish my prayer
because I'm so scared and I also feel pity for the said victims.
How this world have gone mental
How this people can go to such length
How this world is actually a scary place to live
How horrible is this world

How...
How...
How fortunate I am
How very fortunate I am
How I am blessed
How lucky for me to have a family
Family that will always protected me
Family that will always love me
Family that will prevent anything bad to happen to me
Family that makes me feels safe
Family that gives me the world and don't expect
anything in return...
I forgot 
in my quest to find treasure
I completely forgot that I already had the treasure.
I  need to appreciate them more.

Allah have proved that He still loves me
He know that I am suffering from my own complexity 
and He lets me encounter this news
and He shows me that
despite everything bad that happen to me
others have it worse.

I forgot about that.
I overlook things that I am blessed with.
I'm so embarrassed with myself. 

The truth is,
I always feel that I am unlucky.
That life isn't fair and I tends to compare my life with others.

Yesterday,
I consult my problems with my kouhai.
We talked a lot about my problems
and this morning I found that articles.
It really change everything in me.
It change how I think.

I am lucky and so fortunate
that Allah SWT will always
and always be with me.
He has His way with me
and I know
He knows what is best for me.
I must never forgot that.
Insyaallah.

Alhamdulillah I come to my sense.
I pray that Allah swt will helps the victims and
may they get the help they need.

amin...

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

本当にごめんなさい

I really am sorry that this happen
if only I search high and low

I search but,
never I expect you to be sleeping there...


[      if only I     ]


it's hard to forgive myself when you are no longer alive...
and my mistakes was to blame..

it's my fault that you die,
I'm sorry is all I can say...


[     I'm sorry    ]



when I saw how hurt you are,
and how helpless I am.



[     I'm sorry    ]



there's nothing I can do to put the pain away...

I was there but I wasn't there...
watching as you struggle with the pain,
I try to remain calm and help you,
and you draw your breath,
when I know it

you have gone...




[      if only I     ]



I'm sorry...
I didn't mean for it to happen...
yet,
it happen...





[     本当にごめんなさい   ]







may you rest in peace
- R.I.P Mogwli

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

what a surprise...

what a surprise...
she is one of my best friends..
I enjoy being with her since college..
we were friends,
then we were roommates,
and 
we become best friends...

we share lots of joy and pain..

she further her study before me.
but to certain reason i finish first..
I got my degree's present all the way from Sarawak..
specially by her..

she makes me feel special..
and love...

and yesterday (I  write this in 6 march 2013),
a letter arrived..
I knew who it was instantly...
the handwriting and the way it spelled my dad's name
which is wrong btw
show me who the sender is..
but the letter makes me anxious..
it's a wedding invitation..

surprise i was...
I was waiting for this for a very very long time..
and feeling anxious and happy 
I open the invitation
and surprise surprise...
th mimio 45 Mimio Girl Emoticons
the name, her name...
the dates..
wait!
something is wrong with it..
it said 9 February...
I was like
'WHAT' 
it is 9th February?
in 2014?
nope, 
it's this year 2013 February 9th wedding invitation
that I missed...

shocked and confused...
is my best friends playing a trick on poor me?
without waiting,
I called her...
th mimio 30 Mimio Girl Emoticons
once she pick it up,
questioning begin...
why?
why?
why?
why didn't she called me?
why didn't she told me when i called her last year...
I was laughing like mad..
maybe I wan't to hide the feeling of disappointment,
I feel betrayed...
and sad...
we used to talk about her wedding
and makes proposal like,
"when I get married you must come to my house 
and stay for the night and help me with the wedding"
 - she said

I asked her,
"are you playing a trick on me now? 
are this invitation is a mock to me?"
jokingly i asked but seriously I was hurt..

then she answered,
"it was never like that... sincerly I never meant for it to happen.."
she began explaining her sides of story...
the wedding is planned when she was on semester break...
and she send the invitation a week before the big day
maybe to surprise me..
in hoping it will reach me within a week..
well,
usually post arrived in 3-4 days...
depending on the location and occasion..

but 
Mr. Postmen
this is one mistake your should not have done...
it's a month late..
seriously I was mad...
i missed my best friend's wedding 
because of you..
th mimio 14 Mimio Girl Emoticons
always blaming others..
my twin scold me that I should not..
it was never anyone fault...
but this one..
can't I blame them?
th mimio 16 Mimio Girl Emoticons
my best friend,
she don't have any social sites
so it's kinda hard to keep in touch..
I usually contacted her using phone and messaging only...
and of course I was mad at her for not calling..
but her argument is valid and I accepted...
its kind of chaotic on her side,
and she forgot...
th mimio 3 Mimio Girl Emoticons
I can understand...
or I'll try or I have to understand~ sigh

don't worry,
I forgive you
and
 I wish you the best in your marriage..
may Allah swt bless you both in this adventure..

that is the 1st surprise...
the 2nd one was that she now has a little bundle of joy
inside of her..
7 weeks old she told me..
I was ...
"aaa... you what?! LOL *seriously laughing like crazy*
are you trying to give me a heart attack?"
and we laugh again..
I was happy for her...
but
 I just knew she's married...
and now this?! 
can I take any more surprise?
th mimio 2 Mimio Girl Emoticons
apparently I can,
"rash, please don't have heart attack but there is something 
I want to tell you.."
I waited with odd feelings..
settling myself I asked what is it..
"well err... that invitation is for the reception only..
I actually got married last year in October.."
.....................
................................
........................................
.....................................................
..................................................................
........................................................................................
..................................................................
.....................................................
........................................
................................
.....................
"You WHAT?!"
okay calm down heart...
don't go there...
stay calm...
okay, I was shocked!
like seriously shocked!
but she said only her and his family knew about this..
so I settle myself and laugh..
I was laughing like a crazy person yesterday...
th mimio 11 Mimio Girl Emoticons
we both laugh and I wish her the best 
with her life..
she has final year presentation in May..
and with her new adventure..
I pray for her...

I still am sad and disappointed that she didn't call or told me anything
when I called her.. 
but I still I love her and I only want the best for her..
though I missed your wedding..
both of them..
still
you are one of my best friends,
thus
 I wish only the best for you
be well
be healthy
and 
forever will be in my heart,
insyaAllah...
th mimio 27 Mimio Girl Emoticons
p.s she safely delivered a baby boy..

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

Allah knows best

the terror of knowing things,
the terror that you want it but afraid,
the terror of facing the truth.

the terror of not knowing the future,
will it be
dark?
bright?
colorless?
colorful?

the terror that come like lightning,
the terror that came as a shock,
the terror of knowing it will come,
but still surprises when it did.

the terror
that I finally will be free
the terror
that I will face a new beginning
the terror
of not knowing what to do
the terror
that I can't see the future...

No amount of guilt can change the past 
and no amount of worrying can change the future.
Go easy on yourself for the outcome of all affairs is determined by Allah's Decree.
If something is meant to go elsewhere, it will never come on your way,
but if it is yours by destiny,
from you it cannot flee.
(Umar ibn al-Khattab r.a)

in Allah I trust
that this is for the better..
in Allah I trust
that this is meant to be...
in Allah I trust
things will be better...

“So in Allah put your trust if you are truly believers”
“And whoever puts his trust in Allah, He will suffice him.”[Surah At-Talaaq: 3]

Allahu A'alam Bis Sawaab

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

until when...

the clock is ticking
tik tok tik tok

time please stop...
i'm running out of time..
i have to run..

i have to be there...
i can't be late...

but...

am i running?
when all i see is me standing?

run
run 
run

am i running?
when i feel like walking?
am i running?
when everything look slow?
am i running?
why am i still here?
am i running?
where is my destination?
am i running?
where the HELL am i going?
am i running?
until when should i run?
am i running?
can i STOP?

am i running?
am i running?
am i running?

the clock is ticking
tik tok tik tok

until when do i keep on running...

a question,

that have no answer...

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

food for thoughts


the things that happen,
still happens...
you think about it...
dread about it...
speak about it..
but can it change anything?
no rite...
so just get over it...


nice isn't it?
makes me think hard and through...
is this the choice that i want choose?
can i choose again?

if i really don't like my choice,
then i better make a new one...
and i can move on too...
I am not a TREE!~


i fear of it every single moments..
every time i breath i think...
will this be the end for me?
will i ever make a change?
how do i want to live my life??
i know you are suppose to enjoy...
enjoy your life then you can enjoy your life...
but is it possible?
to enjoy one life but not really live??
how do you know you are living your life??
and why??

i guess this is part of the circle then...

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

Start To Something New : Rise Guardians

gaya macam lagu dah...
start to something new...

but it's the perfect title for this long absent blog of mine...
it's been age since my last blog...
whatsmore,
i don't update my latest movies night...
what is it again...

humm...
oh yea,
the Guardians...
-searching pict-
quick review...
* 3
graphics top notch
storyline can improve - appear to me that sandman is the only strong one, yang lain side kick je..
character development - agak pelik seems there suppose to be something awesome
happens to each character..
all and all - boleh layanla..

ok now that is finish....
-------------------------------------------------
back to the title...
start to something new...
another 5 days we will reach 2013...
a brand new year...
a brand new start...
a brand new beginning...
a brand new responsibility...

okay,
today, 26th december
i have my 1st ever job interview!!!
fuyooo!!
i will mention them..
so i will not forget,
the 1st one...
Henry Butcher Art Auctioner...
you guys can google them...
but it's like anak buah to Henry Butcher....
so i was like...
wow, they want to??! seriously!!
i'm flattered!~
so i went and everything went well...
not exciting or positives...
i am quite sure they don't want to hire me...
lack of skills in presenting myself...
but it was a nice experience all and all...

and yes, my twin got the question right on the money...
"tell me about yourself"
eventhough i have been practicing this question...
i still can't nailed them... kekekeke
don't worry...
ader rezeki x kemane....

now,
from next year onwards,
i will try my best to look 21!!
heheheheh and i will try my best to start saving!~
and if things is comfirm i will updates some new information about me...
can't say i am excited or not excited...
i just don't quite sure...
if this path, is the right way to where i am headed...
and if where i am heading is the right path for me...

there is only one way to find out rite...
just keep on walking....

to gain knowledge,
one must find experience...
and to find them,
i need to be bold...

so here i am...
bold enough to choose this path...

bless me...

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

extrovert all the wa~y...

i read aki's entry about introvert
and my result is extrovert!!~


wuhuuu!!

i did the same kind of test 2 years ago...
and the result is still the same..
so i'm happy!!

here's the simple definition what is extrovert and introvert.


i like to think extrovert is more outgoing and easygoing with people..
while introvert is more to alive in their own world..

which one are you??
do the test here

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

the tears of an angel

assalammualaikum...
dalam blog kin kate sekarang dah masuk 10 hari ramadhan terakhir..
so alang doakan semua berjaya mendapatkan
pahala untuk ramadhan sebelum ramadhan habis...
insyaAllah,
alang pun  doakan alang dan family berjaya mendapatkan pahala 
yang berlipat-lipat ganda...


untuk entry kali ini,
alang nak bagitahu semua orang macam mane alang selalu nangis..
kadang-kadang tengok drama, iklan, dengar lagu, bace komik...
senang je mata ni nak berair...
as easy as abc...
macam tu senang hati ni sebak..
sesenang tu jugak alang cepat terasa and x sampai berape saat..
mata pun berair...

alang tak dapat pastikan exactly why,
but setiap kali alang nak nangis mesti ditahan..
mestila 'MALU' kan..

but here's the deal...
terapi menangis- yes exactly
TERAPI
menangis is a kind of therapy for us...
i quote -

"Telah bersabda Rasulullah SAW, “Ya Allah, anugerahilah kepada kami dua buah mata yang menangis kerana takut kepada-Mu, sebelum tidak ditemunya air mata.”
Menangis itu merupakan pelajaran terpenting dalam Islam sebagai Muslim untuk bermuhasabah diri dan mengingatkan diri dengan segala seksaan yang Allah turunkan. Maka bagi setiap diri yang bergelar hamba, wajarlah bagi kita semua meluangkan waktu untuk menangis. Jikalau belum mampu untuk menangis, belajarlah untuk menangis, atau bermulalah dengan berpura-pura menangis.
Tidak dinafikan, para Nabi dan Rasul serta para sahabat di zaman mereka sering menjadikan tangisan sebagai perhiasan dalam solat-solat, doa-doa dan zikir-zikir mereka kerana takutkan kepada Allah SWT.
Telah diriwayatkan dalam hadis, ”Barangsiapa yang menangis kerana takutkan Allah sehingga berlinangan air matanya dan air matanya membasahi tanah maka dia tidak akan diazab pada hari kiamat.”

menangis kate orang tanda kelemahan...
it's true... 
i've said it..
but after a while,
thinking back....
it's not a sign of weakness...
it's a sign that you are strong...
strong because you let the emotion flow and didn't let it eat you up!~
and menangis juga bagus untuk kesihatan..
and again i quote - 

"Dari segi amalan perubatan, 

menangis itu dapat menyahkan zat berbahaya dari tubuh badan. Zat-zat kimia yang dihasilkan oleh tubuh ketika dalam ketakutan boleh disingkirkan melalui tangisan.
Menangis juga akan meningkatkan kadar degupan jantung. 
Degupan jantung akan meningkat ketika menangis dan ia dianggap sebagai 
latihan yang berguna bagi rongga badan, urat-urat dada dan kedua-dua belah bahu. 
Selepas menangis, kadar degupan jantung kembali perlahan sehingga 
menimbulkan perasaan yang sangat tenang.
Selain itu, tangisan akan menghalang penyakit menyerang tubuh badan kita. 
Universiti Temple dari Amerika Syarikat telah 
mengkaji 100 orang yang menghidap penyakit radang usus besar dan luka pada perut dan 
100 orang yang sihat. 
Mereka mendapat jawapan yang agak mengejutkan. 
Hampir semua pesakit yang menghidapi penyakit tersebut mengatakan 
bahawa 
menangis adalah tanda lemahnya peribadi, 
maka mereka memilih untuk memendam rasa hati mereka. 
Manakala bagi mereka yang tidak menghidap sebarang penyakit
mengatakan 
menangis adalah sesuatu yang semula jadi dilakukan pada waktu dan tujuan yang sesuai."

how true this is, i don't know..
but i don't lie,
if you cry, 
you let your emotion flows...
and that help you clear you mind...
if you keep it inside you,
one day when it was so full...
 
you blow up!!

you don't want that rite...
so if you happen to feel sad or angry...
you have to let it all out...
but don't let it out doing things like
kick people, destroy or hurt other people..
that is sick!
and you need help!
i mean it...
you have to know how to let you emotion out the right way...
and again i quote - 

"Tidak ramai yang mengetahui, air mata mengandungi 25% protein. 
Kajian-kajian yang dijalankan oleh para saintis membuktikan bahawa air mata mengandungi 25% protein dan satu bahagian daripada zat terutamanya magnesium. Ini adalah unsur yang tidak seimbang dan boleh menjadi racun kepada manusia. Ia dapat dibebaskan daripada manusia ketika menangis.
Oleh itu, tidak salah untuk manusia menggunakan 
tangisan sebagai salah satu cara untuk menghadapi sesuatu perkara 
tidak kiralah perkara yang sedih mahu pun gembira. 
Seharusnya kita menggunakan anugerah yang Tuhan berikan 
supaya dapat memberikan kebaikan kepada diri kita. Insyallah."

dari cerita 'chal marri bai' ntah cmne eja alang pun x thu..
menangisla kerana air mata yang mengalir ibarat madu,
tetapi air mata yang ditahan ibarat racun dan akan merosakkan tuannya...
or maybe it didn't sound exactly like that...
but that's how far my memory can go...

anyway,
the point here,
i know that you want to be strong,
for your family, friends and enemies...
that one little of tears,
you fear will bring down all of your hard work...
but sometimes you can use a break from 'strong'..
you just want to be burden less...
just want to enjoy life...
to forget everything....

and there's a time when you wish someone would say,
"it's not okay, and it's okay..."
and it's nothing to worry about even though you can't see the exit at all...
and you wish 
someone would come to you and hug you and said.
"it's okay, i'm here and you don't have to worry about it."

it's okay to cry...

because god create this tears so we can let it out..
what's the point of having tears if we don't use it?

don't keep your emotion inside you..
find someone to hear your stories,
your feelings,
your true self...

again,

if you can't find someone to be there for you...
there will always be a voice
that said

"I'm here"

and you know where you have to turn to...

-Allah Almighty-

He will always be there for you..

always...






  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS