LiFe is HarD, so KeeP oN MovIng: times

Showing posts with label times. Show all posts

Yesterday...

9:30 AM | Labels: 2014, it still hurts...., shigoto, times

24/11/2014

I have another super emotional sensitive moment.

It's bad since I cried all the way to bed...

This is not working for me..

Jobless I mean..

Everyone said,

if you don't like it then find a job.

I tried my best finding one.

Still no luck.

I am waiting but my emotional state

is really in the midst of collapsing.

Or maybe it already did..

I really hate this part of me..

The weak part of me..

and the negative part of me..

I pray that Allah give me strength..

and please give me good news..

I can't live like this..

I really cant..

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until when...

10:50 AM | Labels: its have a reason~~, times

the clock is ticking

tik tok tik tok

time please stop...

i'm running out of time..
i have to run..

i have to be there...

i can't be late...

but...

am i running?
when all i see is me standing?

run

am i running?
when i feel like walking?

am i running?

when everything look slow?

am i running?

why am i still here?

am i running?

where is my destination?
am i running?
where the HELL am i going?

am i running?

until when should i run?
am i running?
can i STOP?

am i running?
am i running?
am i running?

the clock is ticking

tik tok tik tok

until when do i keep on running...

a question,

that have no answer...

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today, i'm alone...

8:27 AM | Labels: it is just a normal day, the knights, times

cha chang!!

yes, it's true...

i am alone... ~~mak abah x kire!~~

i am alone you guys!!

do you know,

that both my sister (baby and little)

are working today?

well, incase you didn't know,

they got a job in Zoo Negara...

as a ticket girl i think...

oh well,

i pretty lonely and upset,

because i still unemployed...

i want to work!!

i really want!!

damn!

i just can't think straight...

i can't do what i want to do,

due to certain circumstance....

i really want to work...

i want to start working!!

i want to make money...

i want to save money...

i want to have money....

i want to be RICH!!! muahahahaha!

credit to Jessica McLead

this is me imagined myself working like a house elf..

don't get me wrong...

i love the leisure time i have...

i love it!

but,

i don't mind working..

i like to work...

Dobby likes freedom, miss, but he isn't wanting too much, miss,

he likes work better.

and more importantly,

i want to start the new adventure...

i want to ease and help out...

i want to widen my horizon...

i want to stretch my wings

and FLY!!!

-this the cool me flying-

oh god,

please make a way for me..

and please let it be easy...

i know hardship teach us more than school and university taught us..

but i would really like it if it was an easy route for me..

but i will work hard...

and i will never stop learning...

credit to owner Caramel 5555

now i just can wait..

hopefully i didn't wait in vain...

insyaAllah...

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wise words

7:01 AM | Labels: kazoku, kizuna, magic, moments, near death experienced, times

in time like this,

i appreciated this kind of wise words..

reading them makes me feel relieved...

it help me go through hardship...

some of the wise words that help me hold on...

"it's not you fault.. don't blame yourself.."

"its just a car..."

"kete boleh baiki, nyawa hanya satu..."

"what will happen will happen, no matter what we do..."

"it a relieved that you are safe, everything else does not matter..."

"i am glad that you are okay..."

"don't blame yourself... i don't why should you?"

"i know it's painful, the burden that you carry are far heavier than others... but be stong.. just this once i ask you to be strong... forgive yourself..."

"this will make you tougher and stronger..."

"mak sayang anak-anak mak..."

"xpe janji kaklang selamat..."

"akak taknak kaklang nangis... akak x kesah pun pasal kete tu.. dah dah jangan nangis.."

"perkara yang wat kin sedih bukan tu. tp kitorg xdpt nk brada di sisi kaklang nk tolong. it must been hard to face it alone. weirdo is just a car in the end."

"try to think positives..."

"don't see the downfall of this, try to see the good things that happen because of this...
then you will see a brand new things.."

"benda kat dunia ni jadi untuk mengajar kita.. kalau tak jadi kita x tahu.."

"takpela kereta tu nanti boleh uruskan.. janji kaklang x ape-ape.."

"nak mintak maaf buat ape, mende dah jadi. next time hati-hati... kereta bole repair, nyawa x bole.."

"if ALLAH dah kate kun fa ya kun kaklang..."

"tak luka tak cedera bersyukur sangat... masih mampu bergerak lagi.."

"sayang kaklang.."

and when i heard my mom crying on the phone..

i also automatically started to cried...

she said;

"ingat mak tak risau ke? nak tengok tak boleh... anak jauh... abis mak nak buat camne? ni kaklang tak jadi ape-ape pun mak dah syukur sangat dah..."

i also thankful that no one scolded me or get angry when i gave them the news..

all of them abah, ablong, kakngah and mak take the news calmly...

the speaked to me with soft voices...

i appreciated that so much...

in that state they know how afraid i am...

they speaks to me softly and that makes me calm...
that makes me less afraid because i know they will always be with me...

i really appreciated all the love i have been receiving...

all the pray that are for me...

all the love message and words of wisdom...

i sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart...

thank you..

thank you...

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near death experiences 2

10:30 PM | Labels: 2012, moments, near death experienced, times

yesterday i post about my near death experienced..

which seem exaggerated,

but today...

my near death experiences is really my near death experienced..

i won't write it in details...

since it was painful for me to keep reminiscent all the bad memory...

today morning at 6.45am...

i got hit by a car...

of course i was driving weirdo...

and that car hit me hard...

and it took most of weirdo's mouth with it...

you can actually see weird's teeth!...

oil spilled,

lamps crush..

everything's a messed...

you can see skru, pilled of glass etc on the ground...

no it does not belong to the other car, which is a naza...

but mine...

weirdo got hit bad...

the other car damage also bad...

but mine is worse...

maybe that' why passer-by x marah-marah with me..

maybe because of weirdo condition..

but no one came to us..

no one consult tu..

i only have eaty and zaa...

everyone look at us and i know in their face,

I AM GUILTY...

after a while john and yun arrived...

i almost cry when they arrived....

they settle everything for us...

it's a relieved to have someone you can rely on..

since my parents and family are in KL...

and nothing they can do when they are so far away..

why i said near death experience...

30cm more and that naza will directly hit me on the driver's seat...

it really really that close...

even John and eieen and eaty all of them said i was lucky...

because it can hit me...
and after seeing the impact on weirdo's mouth i know how bad if that naza hit me...
if it hit me...

i can't imagine what will happen to me and my friends...
the hit was bad...

it was like a meteor was smashed directly to your head...

it hurt my head and my neck..

other than that i think i am fine..
Alhamdulillah, Allah masih menyayangi diriku...

now all there is to do is

email the insurance guy about kak ermma's document...

then the insurance claim can be done...

hopefully this is the last time i met with an accident..

it was a worse experience...

what with the two souls that i have in my car..

what if something happen to them..

i don't know what i will do...

i thanked ALLAH SWT..

because we all are safe!

now i just hope weirdo will revive and be well for kin to use for next semester...

i really really sorry kin...

i can't give back weirdo the way you borrowed them to me...

i really really sorry kak ermma...

i am sorry mak abah...

i'm sorry everyone...

because i can't change what have i done..

but i promised to be extra careful in the future..

i don't know when i will drive again..

it's not trauma..

but i am giving myself a punishment...

i have to be ready and prepare to start driving again...

hopefully i can...

Ya ALLAH ya tuhanku...

sesungguhnya aku tahu Kau amat menyayangi hambaMu ini...

justeru itu aku mengangkat kedua belah tanganku

dan mengucap syukur kepadaMu...

terima kasih ya ALLAH SWT kerana masih memberiku kesempatan untuk bernafas...

terima kasih kerana tidak menarik nyaway ku dan teman-teman ku...

terima kasih kerana menjauhi kami daripada sebarang kecederaan...

syukran ya ALLAH SWT...

syukran....

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jangan bersedih wahai hati...

1:05 AM | Labels: it happen again..., moments, times

sabarla wahai hati

andai dikau disakiti,

sabarla wahai hati...

andai engkau terasa,

sabarla wahai hati...

andai dikau memiliki marah,

sabarla wahai hati...

andai engkau tidak berpuas hati,

sabarla wahai hati...

wahai hati...

sekeras-keras hatimu,

terserlah kelembutan pada kelakuan mu...

hanya perkataan 'sabar' yang mampuku berikan...

terjadi sesuatu perkara padamu,

akan menitis air mata padaku..

sabarla wahai hati...

kerna segala yang berlaku adalah dugaan dari-Nya...
janganla dipertikaikan kenapa dan mengapa...
redhala pada ketentuan Illahi...
sabarla wahai hati...

wahai hati,

tidak diberikan kita dugaan jika tidak mampu kita menghadapinya...

kerna ALLAH SWT mengenali diri kita...

lebih dari kita mengenali diri sendiri...

dengan itu hati,
bersabarlah....

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don't act like you understand...

1:40 PM | Labels: it happen again..., it still hurts...., times

if you don't understand,

it's okay...

but don't pretend like you do...

i can't easily understand...

or atleast i try..

why do you have to be so hard on me...

why?

am i some-kind-of-a-joke?

do you see me wearing a clown mask,

waiting someone to throw me a pie?

so everyone can laugh?

even in this kind of state,

you still choose to be funny?

can't you choose your words carefully...

you know because of words ,

my hearts is hurt,

yet you choose to ignore this...

and now,

you are making it worse..

thank you...

thanks a lot...

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every turn, mistakes

8:35 AM | Labels: it happen again..., it still hurts...., times

everytime....

everytime...

every single times....

it's always me that's wrong...

it was never you...

you and of course you...

no...
it always

me me me...

okay then...

i am wrong...

i do this,

it's my mistakes...

i do that,

it's also my mistakes!

fine then...

put the blame on me...

i am the black sheep...

so why hold yourself...

just blame me like you used to...

put it all on my shoulder...

the same all of you...

if i did this,

pandai terase...

but when you guys did it too,

don't you think i would feel the same...

don't,

don't apologize..

it's my fault...

so i apologize...

i am sorry...

sorry for being here...

sorry for ramble about this..

and

sorry...

sory for being me...

thank you so much...

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i got it!!~

2:51 PM | Labels: abnormal 3rd year~~, car, kazoku, little sis, moments, the knights, times

to dear reader...

i think i forgot to mention...

i GOT A CAR!!!

*claps claps claps*

what!! a CAR!!! wow!!

wait wait!!

let me rephrase that...

i did got a car...

but it was not mine...

i borrowed it!~

from my dear sister!!~

*claps claps again!!

she she!!

she let me borrowed her car,

for a whole semester!!

nice of her...

maybe it's her way of showing me...

how ~~she loves her...~~

eh?!

i mean how she loves me...

yes..

she always gaves

kasih sayang for my birthday...

so maybe kasih sayang looks like this...

kan...

kannn!!!

so yesterday,

for the 1st time,

i isi minyak Weirdo(that's the car name) rm 30!~

hmm...

since JPA x masuk lg...

i can't isi it penuh...

xpe when JPA masuk,

I isi penuh..

muahahahahah~

but coming to reality...

ai, sigh~

actually its a burden to bring the car here...

i feel like the whole responsible is put on me...

and i'm crawling,

and crawling...

and crawling,

till i can't crawl no more...

why?

maybe i am scared that something bad will happen to the car...

every minutes...

seconds!!

in my head-

"i hope the car is safe"

like hell!~

my head is full of them...

and not to mention,

my driving skills,

is also not very good..

i have no sense of direction...

can't even recognize right or left...

how to drive when i can't even remember the way?

it's giving me a headache...

i'm thinking seriously...

i need the car...

but sometimes,

i felt like calling me dad...

and asking him to take back the car home..

too much pressure...

too much pain...

sigh~

but of course...

there is also a good point to it...

i don't have to walk...

i can go and eat anytime i want...

anywhere i want...

as long someone is there with me...

to make the pressure minimal...

and i need a navigator...

huhuhuh~

since i got a car...

i don't have to called private sapu

or a taxi...

or asking me friends

for a ride...

i can just drive...

and whussh~

SAMPAI~~

of course got pros and cons...

but i hope the pressure

is going to disappear...

hopefully,

i can drive with ease....

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3rd Year - Final Semester

3:39 PM | Labels: abnormal 3rd year~~, moments, times

assalammualaikum wbt...

akhirnya...

mungkin itu aje ungkapan yg sesuai..

akhirnya...

always...

hihhihi...

sangke x sangke dah akhir sem dah...

selame ni,

bertungkus lumus...

berpulun-pulun...

bersengkang mata...

akhirnya...

larianku hampir ke penamat...

hampir...

belum tamat...

so this is it!~

final semester...

well, semester ni a bit lapang..

not many class...

ader gap between class...

tp,

final sem...

got FYP...

yg menentukan segalanya...

so hopefully,

all ends well...

******************

so for pade mike2 yg tertanye result sem lepas..

and pd mike2 yg x bertanye...

here is my result...

echeh...

this is one hell of a result..

quite proud of it...

walaupun certain subject yg target A's x dpt...

hmmm...

yg tu x cukup usaha kot..

neway...

here it is...

quite good i think...

compare with the other result...

T^T

neway,

i hope this semester will be a lot better!!

so pray for me!~

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Final 1.1

9:04 AM | Labels: abnormal 3rd year~~, kazoku, love itself is a mystery, moments, the knights, times, to say good bye...

the end?

of course it is not the end..

but its half of it..

another half will start next semester...

yes..

for this 1st semester...

i realize...

i don't participate much...

i don't join any activities,

that usm held..

most of it because i can't make time..

half of them is because i'm afraid i can't make time..

another quarter i'm just lazy...

hihihi...

anyway,

i have a blast!!

this semester is also

the best!!

i have,

many memories...

many hardship...

many loves...

& many other things...

but i want to have

more more and more!!

i want more memories..

err... a little less hardship if i could...

and many many more loves!!

and others things that i wanna do!!

oh one thing i forgot to mention...

last exam..

my desk number is

236..

i mistaken the 6 with 8..

and i end up in 238

and said..

"err... ni bukan meja saye ke?"

and the guy

*~~thankfully quite handsome~~

said with slow tone,

"eh ye ke?"

and we both go out ~~on a date~~ and re-check..

because i was looking from above,

the number still looks like 8 rather than 6...

and the guy said,

"betolla ni.."

and i said again..

"eh bukan ke ni saye"

i point it to my number

but still fail to notice the 6...

ai... sighs

in the end,

the guy helps me to notices..

he said..

"betolla ni nombor saye.. awak nombor brape. ni nombor awak.."

thankfully again,

he wasn't mad or laughing....

i hope~

Mr. Nice Guy,

i'm really sorry for causing reckless things...

i should have re-check the number above and below...

thank you for not getting mad...

that's is the 1st time

in my whole life!!

i mistaken my tables for others...

usually i'm not that clumsy...

anyway,

for next semester...

i just wish i can finish them with a smiles...

i'm praying,

that everything

work out as planned...

insyaAllah...

p/s- i'm waiting for my kazoku to pick me up!!

now they are stuck in traffic...which is bad because it's near CNY...

hope they arrive safe and sound...

p/s 2 - we are going on a HoLIDAY!!! yeah!!!

p/s 3 - until next time....

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forgotten not...

8:24 PM | Labels: its have a reason~~, moments, times

the past is past...

and the future is unknown....

i don't really agree...

but after a hard time thinking..

ader betulnye jugak...

things that made us sad,

is not worthed to remember...

why do you want to remember things

that made you cry??

but,

isn't life is all about learning?

isn't we suppose to remember,

we don't make the

same mistake

again?

i think

we should not forget the past...

the future...

or the present...

we should

always remember...

bare it in mind...

so that we know....

every bits of time in our life...

worth to be
remember...

they are

part of you...

part of me...

part of us....

we will not be ourself today,

if not because

of the past...

and

where will we be?

it's not in the future...

as for the present

it's a gift,

that make us remember...

that

we are still here...

nothing is worth forgetting...

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2012

1:33 PM | Labels: 2012, new year, times

the times has come

the new year of the year

every time we hear the word new year..

we get excited...

it's new year...
everything have to be new!!~

not for me...

this time..

i don't felt excited..

but scared...

everyone was talking about

Apocalypse...

about the end...

the time...

i was so scared about the end..

i don't want to end yet..

but if the time comes...

there's nothing i can do about it..

it was around 8.30 pm..

and i felt sleepy..

my baby sis is waiting for 00:00 for the NEW YEAR!!

my little sis is watching videos in her laptop...
my twins is watching the tv....

me?

because i was scared...

i decided to sleep...

"if anything gonna happen, i'll be asleep..."

that's how i celebrate my new year...

~~2012 the year that scared me...~~

anyway,

it's the new year...

one word...

i'm grateful to be alive...

i'm grateful that i'm healthy..

i'm grateful that i have my family and friends...

i'm grateful to the mighty ALLAH swt...

for this year...

i hope to be successful...

in everything i want to do...

i want to be success..

insyaAllah i'll make it...

i'm praying for my family

will be together...

will united...

and be healthy as they can be..

i pray the anger will go away...

so we can be peaceful and happy...

just like before...

i'm praying for my friends..

will be successful...

and i' m praying that our friendship,

last for eternity..

may jealousy and others bad things,

don't influence our friendship..

may we stay strong...

i'm praying for the world...

to be a better place..

for you and for me...

~~copy from Micheal Jackson's songs..~~

therefor,
i wish you all the very best for 2012..

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LiFe is HarD, so KeeP oN MovIng

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Yesterday...

until when...

today, i'm alone...

wise words

near death experiences 2

jangan bersedih wahai hati...

don't act like you understand...

every turn, mistakes

i got it!!~

3rd Year - Final Semester

Final 1.1

forgotten not...

2012