truth hurts like heLL!!

2:10 AM | Labels:


i know you know...
truth hurts..
but even when you experienced them thousand of times..
it still hurts like the 1st times..
thats why, here today now..
my heart still beating like mad~
how to start acting like you know nothing...
now you know everything...
i feel embarrassed!!
i feel used!!
i feel useless!!
suddenly i hate everything!!
watching is painful!!
hearing double the pain!!
understand triple it all...
and try to deal with the problem really does it all...
if only you can see me there...
i can get an award for best actor...
really brilliant!!
not even a loophole!
when i 1st hear the news..
i can't describe how my heart is acting...
its beating hard on the inside..
but outside,
i try so hard to stay cool and maintain my profile..
even my voice didn't change,
though my emotion have change slightly...
because
i was lying to others...
the hurt become more painful...
i try so hard to cover the emotion on my face..
even the words is changing...
i don't know if its convincing but its the best i can do..
i know i said this already...
but i think my heart still needs time....
i don't know when i will be 100% sure, cured and even satisfied with the action im taking..
but its the risk i have to take...
and live with the one i made...
i have to make a choice..
either this or that...
neither give hope...
nor luck...
its just and option...
by choosing,
i let myself control...
i need to control...
i need the control...
so i can be the boss..
to control my own feeling..
so it won't happen again...
too painful to keep...
too precious to let go...
the memories are one of the precious in my heart..
you are one of the nicest people i meet...
but,
now i know...
that i have to let you go...
i hope you are happy now as i choose to let you go...
don't ask me if this is the right thing to do...
don't ask me if i know what i am doing...
don't ask me if i will regret this...
because
i never know if this is right...
i never know what am i doing...
i never know if i will regret..
i never will.....

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS
Read User's Comments(0)
Posted by AmiVieNeski

ups and down~

2:00 AM | Labels:

there's a couples of things that happen today...
1st the monster makes another attack on me...
making me cry...
well,
1st i didn't cry when i call my mum...
but i finally let it out when i was calling my sister..
somehow the burden is free when i hear her voice..
like i can be weak now..
just let it out...
it hurts!
that monster!!
really, i wish *&%^&^# or should i not~~~

thats not the 1st time...
why do i have to live in this kind of shit!!
i don't know...
maybe because i am weak people took advantage of me...
i really am upset!!
many things upset me these day..
many things...
and don't get me starts!

anyway,
mom said just ignore it..
dad said just chill and eat a lot!! spend a lot also can..
kakngah said, i find the solution..
really ar? or i just mishearing...
hhuhuh~~

but this point..
i am thankful that i have my family by my side..
always stood there watching over me..
ready to grab if i fall...
i know i haven't be the perfect one for you..
but trust me when i say,
i sacrifice the world for all of you....
that's how much i love you guys~

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS
Read User's Comments(0)
Posted by AmiVieNeski

loves nurture the earth~~

2:18 AM | Labels:

people see IT coming...
people know IT coming...
people expect IT..
people welcome IT..
i know IT..
never expect IT to come..
not this fast, no...
but here it come...
and i fall right into IT..
without warning..
IT snapped right into my heart...
making me hard to breath...
hard to think..
hard to do anything...
and worse of all...
IT doesn't do anything to me..
IT really didn't...
IT just me and me...
and i know...
if i didn't do anything IT will go away...
i don't want IT to go away...
owh IT!!
please stay...
stay until i got the courage..
the timing...
the right moment to say it..
owh IT...
do you know...
what i fell??
no you must not..
its too embarrass to let IT see..
but do IT know how it hurt??
it hurt IT!!
it hurt so much!!
but i am thankful IT...
because of you i experienced it...
never know it before..

but if someone ask me...
"do you want to experienced it?"
i would say,
"no, i don't want..."
but IT...

can you see a liar when you see one??


  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS
Read User's Comments(0)
Posted by AmiVieNeski
3:44 AM | Labels:

Selamat hari raya...
huhuh~~
skg sy mengalami rasa lapar yang amat sangat...
cmne nak puase esok??
wargh!!
i fall asleep aroun 8 pm...
and wake up at 10...
somehow i dream about something and when i got up!
i felt that i havent eaten at all!!
its so strange because i ate my dinner at 7~
so here's the update...
my head almost crash because the memory is full...
and i am becoming slower every day because the ram is not enough to support the data...
and the data it self is useless since i need more data...
new media new media...
now waking up is like an assignment to me...
waking up itself is hard to do...
sleeping...
dun let me start...
i have sleep...
of course...
but i fell like the sleep is useless..
i dreams about it...
i think about it...
i talk about it...
why???
wy does it resolves around me all the time?!!
all the way??!!
i hate this kind of lifestyles!!
i hate it!!
no....
there's somthing else that makes me sad..
somehow because of the farmer the flower can't grow well enough...
and the flower is waiting and counting the days that it will die...
sad... the flower is such a beautiful flower..
there's this and there's that!!
today lots of things happen!!
and most of them makes me mad!!!
calm down...
calm down...
ok...
i starting to get crazy!!
a little too much for me to handle!!
oh GOD oh GOD!!!
please oh please!!
gives me strength!!!

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS
Read User's Comments(0)
Posted by AmiVieNeski

its happen again~

3:36 AM | Labels:

you know where all the things that happen before??
well it happen again...
and i mean this time its worst!
i just can't stand it anymore!!
why must it happen??
why can't i live a normal peaceful life??
argh!!
human said the are the most intelligent things in the world...
but somehow i doubt it....
if so,
why do i have this feelings??
its because the human is not as smart as they seem...
they just a bunch of liars!!

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS
Read User's Comments(0)
Posted by AmiVieNeski
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)