its been awhile~

hello...

i noticed sumthing...
rupenye dh lame x update blog ni...
heheheh~
wari wari...

i've been focusing more to my pure heart that i didn't post anything here other than heart, crush and more crushes!!
arggh!!

don't!
no...
not today..


today..
i'm going to talk about news feed~
ahahaha~
macam facebook kan~
okayla tu~

sbb dh lame x update rase mesti nak tahu ape yg jadi in my lives kan~
hihih- budget artis ke?~

owh well~

should we start one by one?

abah,

nothing much about abah...
he basically the same..
going there, return, going back...
eh, x pening meh? huhuh, {(

abah now is working on his case..
dah 2 kali masuk mahkamah dah..
and lagi skali around this time before raya i think..
hope it ends well...
x suke perkataan turun naik mahkamah..
sian abah..
dhla tinggi, dorang x nk buat lift meh?
ngade ngade betol harimau kuning tu!!
aritu nk settle xmo!!
giler giler!! korang mmg giler!! and now, what's the point?! cacat otak betol!!
okay okay...
cool down missy...
cool down....

bulan ramdhan ni, x baek menyumpah..
owh,

HAPPY RAMADHAN!!!
dh nak dekat 2 minggu puasa ni...
alhamdulillah, tahun ni puasa kat rumah..
okay yg ni later i citer...

abah, kdg2 de layari internet...
gi facebook, ads...
cars..
do we need more cars?
aiyo~~
okay, his health?
somehow i don't know..
kdg2 abah ok..
sometimes de ngadu sakit kaki...
depends on the day...

next news feed,

mak
mak had her operation last month..
what kind you ask?
operation la do!
potong2 daging tu!
operation ape lg!!
*operation kat manela ngang!!! ---> terpengaruh ngan blog kin ni..hahahaha, owh well

mak had her tummy operate...
memanjang ke bawah,
dari bawah dada until bawah pusat...
very the long..

it scares me when mom called us,
*me, kin, kakngah n two of my friends are having lunch in kopitiam...
"balikla cepat, mak sakit perut ni, nak gi klinik"
i heard her voice like she's going to cry any minutes now..

and she did, later that night..
we go to clinic and that pak cik doktor x pegang pun perut!
just ckp nothing wrong!!
wei pakcik! if nothing wrong why did they found pus inside her tummy?!
huh huh!!
you almost got my mom killed!! i hate you!!

fortunately, my mom recover..
alhamdulillah...
amin...
so for a week, me kin and kakngah all gilir2 jage mak di hospital...

okay things that happen in hospital...
1st thing 1st, we all x brape faham situasi hospital kerajaan ni..
this is the 1st untuk kiteorg..
but really, memang macam ni ke dorg layan patient?
seriously?
and you got your nursing & doctoring certificate?


OMG!!

okay,

1st bile ader patient panggil, nurse patut g!~ regardless brape annoying patient tu!
 
2nd
attendant bile patient ter'berak' 'kencing' you should not letak muka geli korang! common on la! korang tu golongan professional! - eh dorang pro? argh! kire pro la gak! korang layan orang sakit, jgnla bg dorang takut nk berat n kencing... tolongla, layan with respects~

 
3rd
when patient talks take it as it is! jgn putar belitkan fakta!

 
4rd why!nape setiap mende about medicine dietitian pun doctor stumbles! aiyo kawan~ betol ke you spend
5 years training?

 
5th
woi sistar! i ask you nicely okay! i just want a pass for me and my sister to stay the night without the fear of getting caught by the guard! and you said

"you ade sini pun buat ape?! bukan you boleh tolong sama mak you pun!"

what? what? did i hear it correctly?
OMG!! buat ape? x tolong pun!
hey sistar !!

who is the person that clean, bath and take care of my mom?!!

it's US!!
okay!
the knights!!
not the nurses or the attendants!!
its us~
and 


we help to ease you work and you said we can't help her!

 
my mom goes to the toilet about 15 times a day!
and you expect all the nurse to treat her nice and gentle every time she wants to go?!

in your dreams!

no wonder they said hospital kerajaan ni teruk...

yeah and the jahitan is as bad as them!

tolong anta dorang semua gi kelas menjahit dulu!~ cheh!~


okay,
sabar2..
look what've you done to me!
dok tambah dosa je...

ummmm........
umm........
oh, ader gakk good things that happen...
of cos all things has pros and cons...

the good thing,

1 - ader nurse tu sorang yg mmg best! cambest untuk anda! setia melayan patient and my mom hanya boleh consult ngan de untuk everything...
even ngan me pun de baik!~ siap kate nak belikan makan~ wow~!
bagus! and dapat thumbs up!!
 
2 - doctor baik~ ader doktor baik je layan my mom... and my mom senyum~
ader that doc
-wait, dia senyum sbb nk balik awal~ hahahah~
doc, for the good service i give you high five! thank you for looking after my mom~
 
and ader doctor tu really knows he's stuff~
mmg bagus! nampak kreadibiliti sbg doktor!~
i salute to you!!~

3 - bill murah~ hahahah, macam nk gelak giler2 plak~ tp this is the reality... if you can't afford the hospital bills lagi payah kan.. and my family have that issues now...
so i'm very grateful with the government - thanks to you my mom can be treated..

but tula...
 
you guys have to take what i said and be better~
the better you be the better the people sees you...
isn't it?~
okay back to now~ skg my mom okay just need to do dressing every 3 days..
but my mom mcm penat2 lgla..
yes, reality,
going to surgery in her age does not do her any good..
if there is one, she loses weight~ really...

take a good care of your parents... their body should rest in the 50s... not have a big white saw cutting through you bodies or have a headaches every time the phone rang...

we go to
ablong


n kaklong~


they bought new car~
they bought new mac book~
they bought new ipad~
they bought new pet~
they bought...

hey! does all you going to tell us is their shopping list?!
well... it's not shopping list if you already purchasing them, aite?

okay,they r healthy and strong...
all the same... nothing much with them though..
kaklong into korean dramas these days...
ablong with online games...
okay ends here...

next we have the girl that thinks i worshiped her~ adoiyai!~ perasan giler~
okay here is

kakngah~

yeah...
she's my sister not my twins...

she just did her 3rd interview last tuesday~ if i post this today it will be yesterday~ hahaha~
i hope she nailed it~
oh please nailed it~
i want new shoes~
badly dah ni...
hahahah~

kakngah, kakngah....
ummm.......
she the cores doer there...


that means she did the chores..
yeah, macam maid la...
except she didn't get paid~ muahahaahh~
but thanks to her all the chores are done in time..

xdela tangguh2 kan~~

she did sumthing like....
like sidai baju, angkat baju...
but not masak...
sometimes she did...
but she don't really like to masak...

because she said,
if she did it too well,
people will keep asking her to do it again...
well duh!!
of cos, if you do it great the 1st time, they want to see you fail the 2nd time~
it's the nature...

then there's

Kin


she's been busy...
with go holiday with the dental's friends to pulau perhentian...
3 days 2 night if not mistaken...
no, i don't really approved it but my parents gives their permission so who am i to say no~

exchange program to cambodia..


for 2 weeks is it?
yeah i think that's right...

yeah about that...
you see she's got to have a passport you know...

and... er....
the process didn't go as smooth as we hope for...
from wangsa maju (is it?) we had to drive to PUTRAJAYA..
just to make her passport..
reason?
because the machine can't detect her fingerprints...
oh, what a bad thing to happen...

anyhow,
we success of making one!!
YEAH!!!
and she fly all the way to CAMBODIA~~

there she goes again i always said..
huhuhu~
but she's having fun who can blame her right~

owh don't forget she had the 1st job...
as marketing colgate?
is that it?
ntahla tp de tukang bg barang n info kat dental convention~
RM400 for 3 days!!
best sgt kan!!
i wish i had it~ but she used all of it for percutian ke pulau perhentian thingy... :(
XDDD

move on,

Irah

she's having a hard time because of matriculation...
seems like the message i got these day are
"kaklang ira... susah..."
"kaklang ira takut.."
"kaklang kalau, boleh"

irah, don't belittle yourself too much.. you are way better than that..

if you think too much,
you end up hurting yourself you know~

owh, with irah...
the biggest thing about her is that...
CRUSH!!
hihihi~ she' having a new crush!! yeah~~
but i don't approved!
she's need to look for someone better!

why i don't approved?
well, he's not her type!
he don't look like someone who is smart..
dhla pemarah!
egois!
ngade2!!
hey ko boleh blah la!!

cheh!~

oh, she did her braces!!
yeah!! tahniah irah~
RM8----
i think, and de nye gigi nanti kena buat pembedahan lagi..
wow~ pasni mesti cun sgt!! hahaahah!!!

okay, i thinks that's all from my family...

me?

owh...
for this 3 months i am doing my internship~
with borneofilms~

what i did is,

a festivals for seniman - where we organize, design and look into details~
researching - for my boss thing, maybe he want to do a documentary i suppose~
2nd festivals - festival film malaysia~ just tolong-tolong je~ but it's fun~
editing documentary - rough cut done in 7 days... it will takes shorter time if we know what to do, because the script and the boss idea is not identical so we like;
"en ni nak buat cmni ke?"
"en nak ikot script ke?"

penat?
yeah sangat sangat penat!
but macam x cukup je experince de...

sumthing like that~
anyway thats it at the moment~~ ^^
later i post sumthing else~
hahahaha!!~

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what you give, you get back....

the title is my 'doa'~~


i never did that to anyone before..
as long as i can remember..
i have been nice to lots of people...
and even to those that i hate...


it just cruel for you to do that to me...
and even crueler that i don't know why you did it...
is it just hard for you to confront me?
don't you know my words can harm you badly??


and looking from my pov, 
what you did to me today...
will harm you the next day....


if only you know what i mean...


but the damage is done...
i hate it when it happen...
i hate it a lot when i don't listen...
and sometime i hate the guts in me...


but life has its own way....
i am stronger than anything...


what didn't kill me makes me stronger...


and though i act childish...
i am tough~
i'm a fighter...


the world is a scary things...
if today i make it...
then tomorrow is mine...


the world is round...
and one day, 
we will meet again...


and when that happen...
i want to be there standing up
with my chin held high~


as someone like you....
to hold that position...
to hold that responsibility....


your action today,
does not resembles all of those things..


dare i say,
does the high position have finally got into you?
even without the mighty of them all...
you already turning into a big crock?
you always said this and that...
don't do this and that...


please,
you r not any different...


are you brave when all you do is hiding...
are you smart when all you do is running...
are you the real you...
or you just pretend...


this is the end...
this is goodbye...
those memories...
those moment...
will be erase....


forever and ever...


to know you...


to remember you...


only brings me hate...
regret...
and sadness...


you don't understand the damage you cause...


nor you understand the bad thing you have done...


before i create more damages to myself..
before its getting worse...
and before you can say anything...


here is Good Bye...


bye-bye memories...
bye-bye moment...
bye-bye dreams...
bye-bye,


say goodbye heart...
goodbye...
goodbye...
goodbye....

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closed just make the thing worse...

now i know that...
it's hard you know...
you thought when you are closed with someone they understand...
apparently not..
the stories goes...
i don't know who to blame..
or who is wrong...
maybe its me but i don't think it's me..
but after deep thought and silent..
okay, the meat does not rotten...
but just the burger...

confuse?
you see i am a person that talks...
that means...
if i have something i don't like..
i like...
something that is wrong..
i will quick to criticize and quick to praise..
even the event is held by my friend...
criticize doesn't mean i hate it..
its something that helps them to improve right...
but that's why i said closed makes things worse...
because of my honesty, i make them shed tears...
argh...
me and my big mouth~
and worse, the place!!
why can't i be patient just for a night!!
why??
i am so non-patient...
and hate myself...
worse you know...
is that i found that *this person* consult with the other friends...
which is not mine.. and they keep looking back at me...
shess!!
if they hate what i said, can you atleast be a gentle and talks to my face?
please show respect...
atleast i do...
what i said are the truth..
its the truth because it's from me...
my opinion...
and i said it face to face...
not like you coward!~
but i don't blame them...
its me right...
its all because of me...
argh!!
how this night suppose to brings good memories!~
now all i have is bad ones!~
i hate myself....

i hope i understand...
or i hope they understand..
i don't mean harm...
it's just love...

eventhough *this person understand...
the mistakes already done...
half the people organize this things officially hates me~
*i don't know about hate...
but just to emphasize how talk-behind-my-back effects me...
i know they don't hate me...
but still, i hate myself...

for being uncool~~
yare yare..
to *this person if you suddenly bumps into this post...
i'm sorry...
i know i said it million times..
but not once i said it to your face..
it's not that i scared but i don't want you to feel guilty...
i don't wish to make you cry..
i don't wish to hurt you...
i just want to share my feelings..
because that's what friends do...
right??
we shared feeling..
the good and the bad...

but i think, maybe we should keep the feelings..
when it involving your friends..
and maybe we should never said bad things regarding the things that they do..
but,
but
but!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that's two face!!
and its wrong!!!

GOOD FRIEND,
tells the bad ones and the good!
accept the bad and not only the good!
good friend,
tells you something you don't want to hear~
tells you something you need to hear...
good friend,
don't mean you harm..
don't want to be your enemy...
we just tell because we don't want to lie...

please understand...
and it means the world to me...
if you respond to me in person..
i want to know what you keep inside...
what did i do wrong...
your feelings..
and how can i make it right..

and if you don't accidentally bump into this post..
don't worry...
i will accidentally bumps into you...
well,
i won't call it accident though...
hihihi~

that's all~
take care my good friends~

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outing everyday is not a crime~~

new entry~

movies!!

i've watched 5 movies in this short time!! 
2 on the same day!!

yatta~~ i am so happy...!

no.. 
not because the movies is great or what
 but because i get to spend them 
with several people~~

this is the people
 i don't mind hanging out,
 u know...

and of course 
some of the movies is great t
hat 
double the fun!!

watching movies is great 
but 
i notice i can't do it 
so often...

i am thankful 
that i can watch movies everytime i want 
but 
some people are not in my kind of state..

i have to learn to save..

but i am going to say this 
for my defend!

i know i am going to get busy in couples of week...

so before that time comes, 
i will play 
and enjoy my self 
to my heart content!!

that's means going out 
every single day...

i really did that u know!

then 
when i start to get busy, 
i can slow things down~

oh no! not stop!!

it's hard that way~~ 
hihihih~~~

and
 when i am hanging out
 all the problems seems so far away~~
hihihi~ cam lagu~~

but that's the reason in the 1st place...

i am so fed up 
and
sakit hati 

with 
last year performance

 that i need to get it all out!

by doing this,
some of my problems is actually being lifted..

hard to say heal 
because i'm not healed 
but slowly the pain is reduced~

okay, 
 if i'm rajin 
i write the movies and 
review in the next post~
until then, mattane~~

edit - i'm malas... 
and already forgot the movies that i watched on this day...
sorry T^T

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the hidden treasure lies everywhere~

everytime i encounter something,
my head will always ask the same question...
why me?
why this time?

but i forgot...

that ever-time it happen,
someone appear...
someone that helps me to encounter the problem...
help me to cross the road..
without getting hurt...

someone...
you are the light of my life...
you help me through ups and down..
you give me hope...
you give me light....
i keep on forgetting that i have you by my side...
i know how precious you are to me..
even when i forgot about you...
you always there....
standing close to me.....
watching over me...
so i won't hurt myself...
you give me your shoulder....
you give me your arm...
you give me your ear...
you give me your heart...
you give me your bless...

and i just keep on forgetting...
someone...
how i am sorry...
to let you feel that way...
i am sorry...
when you need me....
i always not there....
when you ask for me...
i have thousand of excuses..
i am sorry,
sorry for not be there,
when you actually want me there...

i know
promise is just a promise...
i don't want to make an empty promises....
so i rather pray...

i pray
Allah makes you happy,
when i can't....
Allah gives you someone better than me,
because you deserves one..
Allah to gives you better hope,
to provide you with light,
to guide you through ur journey....

but i also pray,
please oh please....
Ya Allah,
makes someone stay with me...
makes someone loves me forever...
makes me remember someone...
keep our heart together....
and let the boding stays eternally...

because this someone
is something i can't lose...

or

i lose my soul...
because they are apart of me...
they are me,
when i am them....
a bit of myself
are hidden inside them....
and every pieces of them,
i keep closely to my heart..

how i love them so much...
i fight the whole world for them...
i broke my promises for them...
i kill for them....
i die for them....
i do anything i can for them.....

everything for
my family~

where the loves stays and never goes away,
but if you didn't appreciate them now,
you suffer it one day,
when they finally gone...
eternally....

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